The Body Language Myth
Why Body Language Matters Less Than You Think in Public Speaking
A participant in a recent workshop made a comment about body language and its importance when communicating. The specific example they raised was a time in an interview they had been given negative feedback for having their arms crossed as the interviewer said it made them appear defensive.
I feel bad for this person, because I honestly think this was an unfair criticism and suspect the interviewer was reaching for excuses for why the interview went badly.
Because honestly, body language doesn’t matter as much as we think it does.
I would go so far as to suggest that when we are feeling confident in what we’re saying, our body language will take care of itself.
The 7%-38%-55% Myth Explained
The myth about body language comes from the 1967 studies by psychology professor Albert Mehrabian at UCLA, which led to the famous 7%-38%-55% rule:
· 7% of the message is conveyed through spoken words.
· 38% through tone of voice.
· 55% through body language and facial expressions.
But this study was never about everyday situations, a point Prof. Mehrabian makes himself repeatedly. In fact, the research experiments were incredibly narrow, looking at only how much we like someone who spoke one word and delivered that word expressing the opposite emotion to the literal meaning of the word (e.g. a positive warm word like “honey” spoken in a hostile tone).
The formula only works when a person's words contradict their body language or tone (like saying "I'm fine" while scowling and crossing your arms).
And yet this myth that most communication is non-verbal was born, persists and is spread around by many communication coaches as fact. I was a participant in such a session earlier this year where the trainer started the session with this topic and proceeded to carry on as if body language were the most important facet of public speaking.
What Really Matters: Tapping Into Confidence
Think of a time when you were able to speak freely. Maybe a conversation with a friend or speaking about a topic you’re interested in that you can talk animatedly about. In those moments, were you worried about your body language?
I suspect what you were doing with your arms or your hands or your face was the last thing on your mind!
In that moment you were too wrapped up in what you were saying to feel self-conscious.
This is what’s important when public speaking. This is the feeling we want to tap into to present ourselves in the best possible light.
How to Overcome Public Speaking Anxiety
Public speaking is a skill that can be learned. It takes practice and familiarity.
We need to practice. We need to become so familiar with these situations that they become boring and routine. Then they no longer trigger our sympathetic nervous system the drops us into that fight-or-flight state that makes us on edge and hyper aware. Instead, we can stay calm and rational and in control.
Until we get there, we can help ourselves by learning to work with our emotional responses. If we feel panic rise, practice a grounding exercise, something that literally brings us back down to earth.
In my workshops I teach the practice of pressing palms and grounding feet because it’s discreet and can be practiced anywhere.
Firmly plant both feet flat on the floor and gently press your palms together or onto a surface. Focus your attention on these sensations. Breathe Slowly.
This anchors you to the present moment and signals safety to your nervous system. Once safely anchored we can begin to use our breath to signal calm. There are many breathwork practices to explore but there really isn’t any need to complicate things. Simply focus on your breath for a few moments.
Notice your inhale and your exhale. Follow them to their natural completion. Perhaps you can make your inhale a little deeper focusing the air into the deep lower part of your lungs. Breathe out when ready. Repeat as many times as you want to.
Remember to Smile!
When we smile, we get an instant fizz of serotonin, it makes us feel better and it makes our audience feel better. It is the beginning of building connections with our audience. (If you want to go deeper into keeping your listeners engaged, check out my articles on Audience Stewardship). It really does just help!
So please give it a try: next time you feel nervous before you say anything, pause take a breath and smile. Then speak and see what happens.
Ready to Master Public Speaking in Person?
If you want to move past body language anxiety and build real, grounded confidence when speaking, join me for my upcoming live interactive workshop: Practical Skills for Confident Delivery.
